


You Again

by orphan_account



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Possessiveness, Protectiveness, break ups, not really breaking up, they were just on a break
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-01-10 19:17:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12305925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Richie meant well, he really did.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> okay so idk if i made it clear enough in the fic but, except for the very beginning, richie's behavior isn't supposed to be cute? i guess? like he does have good intention but i wanna make it clear that his behavior is not okay so,,,,yeah

Richie had an arm around Eddie's waist, pulling him close to his side without saying anything.

Eddie briefly smiled before continuing his conversation with his classmate about their project, "Yeah, just bring whatever you can tomorrow and we'll figure something out," Eddie finished his statement with a small nod.

The other boy continued to ask Eddie questions, however, and Richie soon got bored. He opted to go behind Eddie and rest his head on Eddie's, this time wrapping both hands around his waist.

It wasn't until Richie actually yawned that Eddie cut off his classmate, "Sorry, but I have a lot of homework tonight," Eddie elbowed Richie when he heard him mutter a small 'liar' "so I should get home soon. What we have now is fine, don't worry about it."

The boy nodded, although he still looked a bit unsure, but a glance at Richie made him put his feet into motion; leaving Eddie and Richie alone.

"You've been really..." Eddie took a moment to think. "touchy lately. Which is saying something, because you're always hanging off of someone."

Richie squeezed Eddie's waist, "Aw, can't I just pay attention to my amazing boyfriend without being questioned?"

"You can, but you've just been doing it a lot more lately," Eddie turned so he was facing Richie, putting two small hands on his chest. "Are you okay?"

There was a brief pause as Richie looked down, focusing on their scuffed shoes. "Are any of us? I mean, considering the fact that we killed a fucking demon that could resurface at any moment I doubt any-"

Eddie cut him off, they'd been having this conversation a lot recently. "Rich, we killed It. We're safe," He tried to make his voice sound sure, but it didn't work very well.

"But what if we're not?" Richie looked at Eddie. "I mean, you know what Ben said. It's gonna come back-"

"In 27 years," Eddie gently reminded.

"Yeah, but, what if we're wrong?" Richie looked vulnerable, the fear in his eyes easy to spot through his coke bottle lenses. "Nothing's stopping It from coming back. It could just show up whenever, we'll never know It's coming until it's too late and-" Richie was rambling now, his heart beating fast and he briefly wondered if _he_ was the one who needed an inhaler.

"Babe..." Eddie trailed off, desperately trying to think of what to say.

"No, it's just," Richie took a breath, he looked at the ground then back into Eddie's eyes. "I'm scared. I'm scared that something will happen to us, that something will happen to _you_. I just, I wanna stop it if I can."

Eddie took one of Richie's hands in his own and gently traced patterns onto it as he thought of what to say. "Well...I can't," He paused, huffing a little. "I can't promise that nothing will happen, or that It won't come back, but we'll be okay. We killed It once, we can do it again," Eddie looked up, his face was serious now. "we're strong. Stronger than we were, and stronger than It."

Richie nodded, but he was still doubtful. "Yeah I, I guess. I'm still just..." He trailed off.

"Scared?" Eddie finished, Richie nodded once again. "Yeah, so am I. We all are, but all we can do is try to move on and forget."

Richie's expression didn't change, so Eddie gently took Richie's hand and pressed it to his own wrist. "You feel that, right? That means I'm alive. That means I'm okay. That means you don't have to worry about me." Eddie withdrew his hand but Richie's remained. "I know you're scared, but I can take care of myself. I'm not weak or defenseless, remember that."

"I know, I won't forget that, ever," Richie smiled for the first time in about ten minutes.

And Eddie truly thought Richie had meant what he said.

But Richie got even more touchy, to the point of being possessive over him. Eddie could hardly remember the last time he _wasn't_ with Richie. He adored his boyfriend and loved spending time with him, but they shouldn't spend every minute together; it just wasn't healthy.

Maybe Eddie wouldn't mind so much if it was just Richie cuddling him more than usual. But it wasn't, Richie was changing into someone Eddie didn't know. The person seemed familiar, and not in a good way.

Whoever Richie was turning into, Eddie didn't like them; at least, not _all_ of them. He had to admit he liked the cuddling, but he couldn't ignore the fact that Richie was starting to act like Eddie was made of glass.

If they were at school, Richie would carry Eddie's books and backpack, even after his arm healed.

"Y'know, my arm's fine. I can carry those myself," Eddie pointed out one day while they were walking to class. "And your first period class isn't even anywhere near mine. You're gonna be late."

"I don't mind being late if it means helping my little Eds," Richie shrugged, smirking slightly at Eddie.

 _I don't need you to help me_ , Eddie thought to himself. But bit his tongue before he could speak. He would give Richie time to possibly change his behavior before he confronted him.

But soon it wasn't just walking him to first period, Richie made sure to walk Eddie to and from every single class. He would have their hands linked together, more often than not squeezing it too tightly. As much as Eddie hated to admit it, holding hands with Richie began to feel like being restrained.

It was becoming hard to differentiate the feeling of holding his hand to the feeling of being on a leash.

Soon enough, Richie would even walk Eddie to his seat, only letting go of his hand once Eddie had sat down.

At lunch, if Richie didn't simply get Eddie's lunch for him, he would have his arms locked around him while they waited in line. And after they got them, Richie would carry both trays despite Eddie insisting he could carry his own.

It was even worse outside of school.

If the losers were hanging out, Eddie would hardly have to move to get anything. He was thirsty? Richie would be by his side with a glass of water within seconds. Hungry? Richie would instantly list off all the snack choices and immediately fetch whichever one he wanted.

The other losers thought it was funny until it got to the point where Richie would literally _carry Eddie on his back_ so Eddie didn't have to walk through the creek water.

One day, Richie had been particularly touchy and Eddie felt like he was suffocating. But he didn't say anything.

Instead, he had been quiet as they walked home, ignoring the way Richie's hand tightly gripping his made his stomach turn. And as soon as they had reached Eddie's house, Eddie muttered something about having a lot of homework and rushed inside; leaving Richie slightly confused, but he chose to go home, ignoring the obvious lie.

Eddie spent that evening wondering why Richie's behavior made his skin crawl and something ugly bubble in his gut. Did he not like Richie anymore? No, that wasn't it. Of course he still liked Richie, loved him even.

He briefly toyed with the thought that he was just having a rough week, and that was why Richie was bothering him so much, but he knew that wasn't it. His week had been fine, the only thing making it bad had been, well, Richie.

Eddie thought for a few more moments before he finally realized why Richie's behavior was making him feel so awful.

His stomach dropped.

Richie was acting like Eddie's mother.

He instinctively reached for his inhaler, but put his hands on his lap, it was fake. He knew it was fake. He didn't need it.

_It helps you, Eddie._

_No_. He didn't have asthma, he wasn't sick, he didn't need anything.

 _You're delicate, you know that_.

He wasn't. He wasn't fucking _delicate_ , or _fragile_ , he was _normal_. He didn't need any special medicine. He didn't need to be treated like a baby.

Tears came to his eyes as he realized the one person he loved most was becoming what had ruined his life before.

He didn't know what to do, so he went with what seemed easiest.

Ignoring the situation and hoping it got better.

But it didn't, it got worse. And Eddie finally reached his breaking point when he and Richie were walking home from The Barrens.

At The Barrens, they had been playing "loogie" as usual, and Bill asked what he always did once they finished.

"W-Who's jumping first?"

Eddie didn't know why he did it, maybe because he was feeling brave, or because he wanted to prove to Richie (maybe even himself), that he was normal. That he didn't need to be more careful than the others.

No matter the reason, as soon as Bill finished speaking, Eddie took one look at the water, stepped back, and jumped off the cliff without a second thought.

He faintly heard Richie's panicked yell of " _Eddie!_ " but seconds later he was underwater. He swam to the surface just in time to see Bill jump off second.

When Bill surfaced, they both laughed loudly. And as they watched the others jump, Eddie forgot about every time he had ever been told he wasn't like the other boys, or delicate.

Richie was, surprisingly, the last to jump. As soon as he was in the water, he swam over to Eddie.

"Are you okay?" He asked, grabbing one of Eddie's arms to check for injuries.

Eddie felt a prickle of irritation as he answered, "I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me."

Richie looked unconvinced, but instead of reassuring him, Eddie loudly asked if anyone wanted to play chicken.

Everyone said yes, and everything was fine until he was going up against Richie. Richie, the champion of chicken. No one _ever_ beat Richie, because he never held back. He would fling himself at his opponent without any concern for his safety or their's, he was only focused on winning.

Which is why when Eddie managed to knock him into the water within three minutes, Eddie was close to fuming. He had seen Richie go against the others, and it was painfully obvious he hadn't put in even half of his usual effort. Hell, he even yanked Stan's hair to win when the battle got to be a bit lengthy.

But with Eddie, it only took one weak shove to his shoulders to send him into the water. That was when Eddie decided to opt out of facing Richie for the rest of their time there. If he had to go against Richie again, and watch him hold himself back as if he would hurt Eddie, Eddie would snap in front of everyone.

Instead, he faced every other loser and ignored the concerned looks Richie shot his way. He thought he had finally calmed down until he and Richie were walking home.

They were holding hands, as they always were, Eddie thought. In fact, he was having trouble remembering the last time he and Richie were together and weren't holding hands. But Richie's usual death grip was worse now.

But Eddie had calmed down, and no longer felt like ripping Richie's head off, so he was somewhat content.

Richie broke the silence and, unsurprisingly, blurted out something that ruined the atmosphere.

"You scared me back there," He said, not looking at Eddie.

"What?" Eddie furrowed his brows, not quite angry yet, just curious.

"At The Barrens. When you jumped," He clarified.

Eddie almost instantly became irritated, "Why?" His voice was low, his question sounding more like a statement.

If Richie noticed the change in Eddie's voice, he didn't say anything. "You could've gotten hurt-"

"Yeah, but I didn't," Eddie interrupted, now glaring at Richie. "And the others could've gotten hurt too, why didn't it scare you when they jumped?"

Richie faltered, finally noticing the change of tone, "Well, yeah, it's just that you're-" he snapped his mouth closed and bit his lip, not looking at Eddie.

But they both knew what he had been about to say.

"That I'm what, Richie?" Eddie's asked slowly, his voice even lower. " _Fragile_?" Eddie spat out the word.

Richie winced, "No, babe, that's not-"

Eddie interrupted him again, snatching his hand away. "What? That's not what you were gonna say? Are you really gonna try to fucking lie right now?"

Before Richie could say anything, Eddie took a step away and tugged at his hair, "God, what the fuck has been going on with you lately?" He snapped. "I'm not a fucking baby. I don't need you to treat me like one."

Richie paused, taking a small step back, "Babe, I'm sorry, I just want the best-"

Eddie interrupted him, " _No_. You don't get to say you want the best for me. You know I fucking hate being treated like that. Because _she_ treated me like that. And I've finally gotten away from her," Eddie let out a laugh that sounded somewhat hysterical. "and _you_ were the one to help me!" His hands started to shake, he gripped his hair and tugged at it to hide them. Richie reached his hand out to tug Eddie's away but stopped himself.

"So if you know how much I hate being treated like that, why the fuck would you do it?" Eddie's voice broke, the tears in his eyes obvious even in the dim light. " _Why?_ " Whatever control he had over his emotions left him. He moved his hands from his hair to his eyes to wipe away the now falling tears.

Richie once again fought the urge to reach out to him, to hold him, comfort him, _protect_ him.

After a moment, Eddie continued. "And I get it, you love me and you want to protect me and _God_ , I feel the same way. But I know you can take care of yourself, that you're not defenseless. If someone talks shit I won't leave your side, but I'll give you a chance to fight for yourself; because I know you can," Eddie took a deep breath, letting his hands fall to his sides. "I just wish you would do the same for me."

Richie stood silent. When he finally opened his mouth to talk, Eddie just shook his head.

"Don't," His voice was quiet now. "I just, I don't think I can listen to anything you have to say. Not right now, at least. Not for awhile."

"What do you mean?" Richie's voice cracked the slightest bit, he put his head down to hide the tears that began to fall.

Eddie took a deep, shuttering breath. "I mean that maybe we shouldn't be together. At least, not right now," The look on Richie's face broke Eddie's heart, but he didn't say anything else.

After a tense silence, Richie just quietly muttered, "Okay."

Eddie continued to look at him, expecting more of a fight, but Richie just stared back at him.

After what felt like an eternity, Richie turned around and began to walk in the direction of his own home, but not before turning quietly whispering, "Be safe, okay?"

Eddie just nodded, wiping his eyes and beginning to walk in the opposite direction of Richie.

Richie watched Eddie's back as he walked away and wondered if this was the end of them.

Richie didn't know it, but as more tears stained his cheeks, Eddie wondered the same thing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three weeks. It had been three weeks since Eddie and Richie fought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fwfjakfhweufhonacloaj sorry for taking so long to update im garbage

Three weeks. It had been three weeks since Eddie and Richie fought.  
  
The losers knew something was wrong, and had a good idea of what the issue was, but every time they asked they would receive the same answers.  
  
_I messed up. A lot._ Richie would respond, not saying anything else. He had been doing that a lot lately, only speaking the bare minimum; a response longer than three words was rare.  
  
The losers tried their best to get him to talk, but it seemed as though he had shut down. No matter what they asked, or how they asked, all they could get from him was that he messed up.  
  
They all knew the only person who could get Richie out of this mood was Eddie, but he was just as bad.  
  
_Something just...changed_ . Eddie would respond, but unlike Richie, he had an out of place smile on his face. But it didn't reach his eyes, it was painfully obvious he wasn't truly happy. If you looked closely enough, you could see the moment his smile finally slipped and he simply stared off; sometimes absentmindedly twirling his pen or pencil in his hand.  
  
If those weren't enough of an indicator that something had happened, the fact that Eddie would refuse to go anywhere if Richie was present proved it just as well. Additionally, if invited anywhere, Richie would ask if Eddie was going. If he was, Richie would decline, saying he would rather stay home. But they could all hear the unspoken words.  
  
_I want him to be happy. He won't be if I'm there._  
  
Beverley was the one to finally get Richie to crack. It had been three days since any of the losers had heard from him, so she showed up at this house without warning. She knew if she sent him a text saying she was coming over, he would just wait inside his house until she left. She had to catch him off guard.  
  
So she decided instead of immediately asking what happened, she would just act like it was any other sleepover.  
  
Which, in a way, it was. Whenever they slept over, Beverley and Richie would vent about their issues. Sometimes on the front porch smoking, yelling into the night that life just wasn't fair. Other times, they would find themselves holding each other in bed, petting the other's hair while they cried.  
  
They would come to each other with family issues, because they were the ones that understood them the most.  
  
Beverley decided, however, that she shouldn't immediately approach the sleepover with any issues. She didn't have any at the moment, and wanted Richie to be comfortable and calm when she finally asked what happened.  
  
So, she packed a bag full of snacks, nail polish, makeup, and face masks. They both adored all of these things, and tried to meet up as often as they could to pamper themselves. Richie wasn't quite at the point where he was brave enough to leave the makeup on, but he was getting there.  
  
Beverly arrived at Richie's house before she knew it, too lost in her own thoughts of past sleepovers to notice time ticking by.  
  
She didn't hesitate to knock on the door once she approached it, rocking back and forth on her heels as she waited for it to open.  
  
It took a bit, but Beverly wasn't willing to give up very easily.  
  
Her persistence paid off when, about two minutes later, Richie answered the door. He looked even more pale than usual.  
  
His eyes, which had horrible dark circles under them, widened when he saw Beverly, but he didn't shut the door.  
  
Beverly took advantage of his shock and shouldered past his frozen frame. "We haven't done masks and nails in awhile," was the only explanation she gave before walking up the stairs. She couldn't see or hear anyone other than Richie, but since she knew about his home life, it was strangely normal to her.  
  
Richie blinked a few times before locking the door and pulling on it to check that it had actually locked.  
  
_Eds was the one who got me into the habit of doing that_ . He thought somewhat bitterly.  
  
_"Richie! Why the fuck isn't your front door locked?!" Eddie had stormed inside his house, his face a strange mix of fear and anger. "Someone could've barged in and killed you!"_ _  
_ _  
_ _Richie raised an eyebrow from where he was sitting on the couch, watching a movie. "Sorta like you just did?"_ _  
_  
_"Yes," Eddie didn't falter. "and you're lucky I haven't barged in and killed you yet. I have the patience of a saint." Despite his tone and words, Eddie curled up against Richie's side within minutes. Alternating between focusing on the movie playing and Richie's fingers in his hair._  
  
Richie remembered the heat of Eddie's body against his, how having him by him side had just felt so... _right_.  
  
He let out a sigh and followed Beverly upstairs, dreading the inevitable talk about Eddie.  
  
But he wasn't greeted with the sight of Beverly sitting on his bed in that one way that made you want to tell her everything.  
  
No, instead he saw her holding four face masks up, her nose scrunched.  
  
"Coconut, strawberry, peach, tomato-" She looked away from the face masks to the floor. "Wait, why would I buy this? I'm allergic to tomato."  
  
Richie couldn't help but laugh, plucking the strawberry mask from her hands. "No, my little lass," He was doing one of his awful voices, but they could both tell he couldn't put as much effort into them anymore. "'Tis your knight in shining armor that's allergic to tomato!"  
  
"Okay, first of all, Ben would be the damsel in distress, so jot that down. Second, tomato smells fucking disgusting. There was no reason to buy it," She looked genuinely confused.  
  
"Maybe you didn't buy it," Richie wiggled his fingers. "maybe it was a five finger discount," He winked before he saw Beverly's face drop.  
  
Her and Richie had done a lot of bad things when they were 13. The most often activity being stealing. Once they reached the age of 15, Bev told Richie she didn't want to do it anymore, that she just wanted to forget.  
  
And Richie understood, never brought it up again, until moments ago. "Bev, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."  
  
Beverly shrugged, "It's okay, you don't seem to ever know what to say."  
  
Richie laughed bitterly, "Yeah, because I'm just a fucking trash mouth, loud and annoying. Can't forget my shitty personality, i'm quite the package," it was meant to be a joke, but Richie's words sounded hollow in a way Beverly never wanted to hear again.  
  
Beverly didn't hesitate to pull Richie into a hug. petting his hair. "Richie, you're not just a trash mouth, we all care about you and want to protect you." She moved back to look into Richie's eyes, "We all love you."  
  
_Not all of you_. Richie thought, instead he offered a small, weak, "Thanks."  
  
Beverly, thankfully, didn't comment on his tone. She had a knack for knowing when to speak and what to say, something Richie envied her for.  
  
She let go of him and placed the tomato face mask back into her bag, "You're going with strawberry?" Richie just nodded, already trying to pry open the package with his teeth.  
  
Beverly picked up the peach mask and yanked Richie's away, "Don't do that," she scolded, "you'll fuck up your teeth."  
  
The two walked into the bathroom and Richie took a seat on the edge of the bathtub, waiting for Beverly to pin his hair back with ridiculous clips. This time she had chosen sparkly, rainbow colored flowers.  
  
Once their hair was back and masks applied, Beverly tugged another container filled with nail supplies out of her backpack.  
  
"How do you want your nails done?" Beverly asked, placing all the colors in front of her. "Black with pink on the left ring finger?"  
  
Richie's heart clenched at that, thinking back to the first time he had ever done his nails. Eddie had been shocked at the black on his nails, but quickly asked Beverly to paint his as well; except he asked for a pastel pink.  
  
_It was Richie's idea to paint their left ring fingers the opposite color, since they weren't in the position to buy actual promise rings.  
  
"It'll be like a promise ring!" Richie had said while they were walking home, his steps even bouncier than usual. "Except nail polish instead of jewelry. Oh! A polish ring!" Richie looked at Eddie with a wide grin, extremely proud of himself. _  
  
Richie could feel something awful settle in his gut as he remembered the fond look Eddie had given him.  
  
"His are still painted, you know," Beverly's voice gently cut off Richie's thoughts. "they're chipped, but he hasn't taken the polish off."  
  
"He's walking around with chipped polish? That must be driving him insane," Richie couldn't help but laugh, Eddie wanted to redo his nails every week to ensure they were clean and the polish was fresh.  
  
"Maybe he doesn't wanna let go," Beverly said softly. The unspoken _neither of you do_ hung in the air until Richie spoke again.  
  
"Yeah, light pink on the left ring finger, please."  
  
Beverly smiled, taking one of his hands into her own. "Christ! Your cuticles are a mess, when was the last time you trimmed them?"  
  
Richie shrugged. "Dunno. How long ago did you come over?"  
  
Beverly just shook her head before beginning her work.  
  
While they were waiting for the first coat to dry, Beverly asked the question Richie had been dreading all night. "So, what happened with you and Eddie?"  
  
Despite expecting it, Richie still froze and felt anxiety rush through him. He briefly considered lying, but he hadn't talked to anyone about it and it was eating away at him. "I fucked up."  
  
Beverly squinted, "Yeah, I know. That's all you'll say about it. _How_ did you fuck up?"  
  
Richie would have been picking at his nails had he not been waiting for them to dry, "I got...scared. And went overboard. I just, I turned into," he took a shuddering breath. "his mom. I started treated him like he was fragile and couldn't defend himself but I know he can I was just scared and now I-"  
  
Beverly shushed him, "Breathe," she said, patting his back.  
  
He took a deep breath before speaking again. "I know he can defend himself, that he's not weak or _fragile_. I was just scared, and I don't know how to fix it."  
  
"Talk to him."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Talk to him, idiot," She rolled her eyes. "That's the only way you'll be able to apologize."  
  
Richie paused, "I know, but," he trailed off.  
  
"But..?" Beverly encouraged, starting the second coat on Richie's nails.  
  
"Maybe we're better off not...together," Beverly shot her head up but Richie cut her off before she spoke. "No, listen. Maybe not forever, but he was right when he said we needed a break. I love him, but I fucked up really bad. I wanna talk to him, _actually_ talk to him about what happened and then see what happens. I don't wanna jump in with a half-assed apology and then get back together. That won't fix anything."  
  
Beverly stared at Richie, the nail polish bottle still open, she'd almost never heard Richie sound so serious before. "Wow. You really care about him, don't you?"  
  
"Of fucking course I do," Richie didn't even hesitate. "I was so fucking lucky to have him as my boyfriend, and even," Richie paused, squeezing his eyes shut to prevent tears from leaking out. "even if after this we don't get back together, I still want him to be okay. And I want him to know that I never, _ever_ , thought he was weak or couldn't defend himself. I don't care if we get back together, I mean God I want to but, right now I just want him to be okay."  
  
Beverly didn't know what to say, she continued painting his nails before simply saying, "I'm proud of you, Rich."  
  
He didn't have to ask why, he just smiled and they both pretended they didn't notice the few tears that had slipped down his cheeks.  
  
"Can I do your nails next?"  
  
"Fuck no," Beverly would've been concerned about her volume, but she and Richie knew his parents wouldn't have cared even if they were home.  
  
"Why not? I always do such a good job," Richie fake pouted.  
  
"You used my nail art pencil to draw a dick on my thumb the last time you did my nails," Beverly deadpanned.  
  
"...Okay you got me there," They both laughed. "It was a nice dick, though!"  
  
"Nicer than your's."  
  
"You don't even know what my dick looks like!"  
  
"Yeah, and I plan to fucking keep it that way," Beverly smiled up at him before screwing the nail polish shut. "but since you'll whine like a baby otherwise, you can do my nails."  
  
"Can I do nail art?"  
  
"Absolutely not."  
  
"Can I pick the color?" Beverly looked at him for a long moment before nodding. "Finally! You never let me pick the colors."  
  
"Because your color schemes are fucking ugly," She wasn't wrong, Richie tended to pick out the brighter, neon shades when he painted nails. She had bought those colors for him, however.  
  
"Close your eyes, I wanna make it a surprise," Richie began to look through the bag.  
  
Beverly was wary, but closed them anyway. If he drew a dick she always had nail polish remover.  
  
The room was silent until Beverly felt something wet and sticky touch her hair. "What the fuck?" She opened her eyes and saw Richie with a stunned expression on his face. "Did you fucking put it in my hair?!"  
  
"I just wanted to see if it matched!" He was beginning to laugh now.  
  
"So you thought the best way to do that would be to put it in my hair?!" She attempted to pick the nail polish out but only smudged it around.  
  
"You moved!"  
  
Beverly just rolled her eyes, sticking her hand out so Richie could begin painting her nails.  
  
After both of their nails were dry they laid in bed, facing opposite directions. The room was quiet and just as she was about to fall asleep, Beverly heard Richie mumble a quiet, "Thank you."  
  
She patted an arm blindly behind her to ruffle Richie's hair. "Thanks for actually opening up, getting you to talk about feelings is like pulling teeth."  
  
Richie nodded into the darkness, "Yeah, don't get used to it. It's kinda hard to talk about them when you're sure no one actually gives a shit."  
  
Beverly shifted so she was facing Richie's back, she propped her head on her hand before speaking. "Rich, we all give a shit about you. You know that."  
  
Richie shrugged. "Yeah, but-" He sighed. "I don't know. Insecurities I guess, stupid, right?" He joked bitterly.  
  
"No," Beverly said firmly. "Not even a little bit. We all have insecurities, just about different things, I guess," Beverly frowned. "I'm just trying to say that we give a shit about you, so tell your insecurities to shut the fuck up because they're wrong."  
  
Richie laughed softly, he hesitated before speaking again. "You guys aren't, aren't just putting up with me, are you?"  
  
"No-"  
  
"Because if you are you can stop, like that's okay I wouldn't blame you-"  
  
"Richie!" Beverly snapped. "We're not just 'putting up' with you. We hang out with you because we want to." When Richie remained silent, Beverly continued. "If we were just 'putting up' with you, would I have stopped by to drag you out of this funk? Would the others constantly try to make sure you're okay? Would Eddie ask us to check on you to make sure you're taking care of yourself?"  
  
Richie fell silent, tears once again welling up in his eyes. He felt vulnerable again, but for some reason it didn't bother him as much as it should have. "No, you guys wouldn't," He finally spoke.  
  
"Then there you go," Beverly began to pet Richie's hair again. "We all love you. The group wouldn't be the same without you, wouldn't be the same if any of us were missing. We want you here."  
  
"Thanks, Bev," He spoke softly.  
  
"No problem, shit head. Now go to bed."  
  
Richie didn't respond, he simply shut his eyes and focused on the feeling of his hair being played with. Beverly drifted off not long after he did.  
  
They both fell asleep thinking about Eddie, Beverly hoping everything would work out, and Richie hoping he could fix the damage he had done.

 

  
Meanwhile, Bill had been the one to confront Eddie.  
  
Eddie wasn't as guarded as Richie, but that didn't mean getting an answer from him was any easier. If anything, it was harder. He wouldn't cooperate if someone wanted to meet up, and to ambush him you had to get past him mom.  
  
But Bill managed, he had somehow always been able to charm Eddie's mom into letting him in. He thanked her and headed up to Eddie's room.  
  
He knocked once before entering. The room was neat, save for a trash can filled with tissues, and in the middle of it was Eddie; laying on his bed, facing the wall.  
  
Bill couldn't tell if he was sleeping, "Hey, Eddie? You awake?"  
  
Eddie jumped, sitting up and turning so fast his back cracked, "How the fuck did you get in here?"  
  
"Door wasn't l-locked," Bill shrugged.  
  
"But my mom-"  
  
"She likes me."  
  
Eddie sighed, "Godammit. I don't wanna talk about him, I'm fine. You can go."  
  
Bill ignored Eddie's words, "Nope, Y-you're not fine, and I'm not leaving." He continued before Eddie could speak. "So! We're having a sleepover."  
  
"I have homework-" Eddie weakly protested.  
  
"No you don't. Even if y-you did, you'd have had it done Friday night."  
  
Eddie stayed quiet, choosing to blankly stare at Bill.  
  
Bill didn't flounder, "What do you wanna do?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"A walk?"  
  
"It's cold."  
  
"You're just trying to find an excuse not to do anything."  
  
Eddie didn't reply, Bill _was_ right, after all.  
  
Bill sighed, turning around to face Eddie's closet. "Where's your jacket?"  
  
Eddie hesitated. "...Top shelf."  
  
"The top shelf? How did you reach that?" Bill asked, grinning slightly.  
  
"Shut up, asshole!" Eddie snapped, but he smiled briefly before fidgeting where he was seated. "Richie put it up there. He thought it was funny."  
  
"It is," Bill said, laughing slightly as he handed the jacket to Eddie.  
  
"At first, yeah. But when you're late for school and can't reach your fucking jacket? Not really."  
  
"I'm s-sure he ended up just giving you his jacket."  
  
_After the fifth jump to try and grab his jacket, Eddie gave up. Huffing slightly and accepting the fact that his walk to and from school would be freezing.  
  
As he got to the bus stop he and Richie usually met up at, he spotted Richie's figure and braced himself for the incoming jokes about his height.  
  
But, instead, when Richie spotted him, he didn't laugh. His brows furrowed and he spoke as soon as Eddie got close to him.  
  
"Dude, where's your jacket? Did you wake up late or something?"  
  
Eddie rolled his eyes, "No, I didn't sleep in. Some dickhead," he crossed his arms. "put my jacket on the top shelf."  
  
"Okay...?" Richie spoke, tilting his head. "And?" _  
  
_"And I can't fucking-" Richie cut him off with a loud laugh, realization spreading across his face.  
  
"Oh my god," He wheezed out. "you can't fucking reach it! I didn't even- that wasn't even my goal! I just forgot how fucking short you were!"  
  
Despite himself, Eddie couldn't help but grin. "Yeah yeah, real funny, asshole. Can we start walking now?" Eddie rubbed his arms. "I'm fucking freezing." Without waiting for a response, Eddie began walking towards the school.  
  
After a few moments, Eddie turned his head to see if Richie was still with him, but as soon as he turned, a jacket hit him square in the face.  
  
"What the fuck?! I didn't even do anything!" He cried indignantly, arms thrown in the air.  
  
"I swear to God that was not my intention," Richie looked like he felt bad, but he was also biting his lip so he didn't laugh. "I was just gonna toss it on your shoulders but you turned and- yeah. Here we are."  
  
Eddie stared fondly at Richie as he rambled before picking the jacket up. It was a worn out jean jacket, covered in many patches. Eddie smiled as he saw the small, red heart patch he had given Richie. "You know this will be way too big, right?"  
  
"You don't have to wear it," Richie teased, reaching for the jacket.  
_  
_"No, fuck you," Eddie slipped his arms through the jacket, not even bothering to roll the sleeves up even though they covered most of his hands. "I'm never taking this off. It's mine now."  
  
Richie shrugged, not even a little bit bothered. "Fine by me, you look cuter in it anyway."  
  
Eddie looked at the ground to hide his blush, "False."  
  
Instead of arguing, Richie just laughed and wrapped an arm around Eddie's shoulders, pulling him close and smiling when he felt an arm wrap around his waist. _  
  
"Eddie?" Bill's voice cut off his daydreaming. "You good?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. I'm fine. I was just thinking."  
  
Bill nodded. "Well stop that, while you're off in la la land i-it's getting darker and colder here."  
  
"I'm not the one who wanted to go on a walk," Eddie grumbled, slipping the jean jacket on and ignoring the feeling that settled in his stomach when he saw the heart patch.  
  
"Too bad! I wanna go so we are," Bill grinned, already opening Eddie's window and beginning to climb out of it.  
  
"Dude, I have a door, you idiot," Eddie deadpanned.  
  
"Yeah, and your mom's guarding that door, you idiot," Bill mocked, sticking his tongue out.  
  
Eddie paused. "...Shit, you're right."  
  
"Yeah, I am," Bill was now completely out of the window except for his head poking in. "Now hurry up and get out here, I wanna go to the quarry."  
  
Eddie said nothing as he climbed out his window and down to the ground below. He didn't speak while they were walking, either. Instead he just focused on the sound of the gravel road crunching beneath their shoes.  
  
They had just settled in the grass, well, Bill in the grass and Eddie on a rock because he didn't want to stain his pants.  
  
There was a comfortable silence and Eddie began to think that maybe Bill _hadn't_ come over just to ask about Richie.  
  
"So...w-what's up with you and-"  
  
Eddie cut him off. "Don't."  
  
"-Richie," Bill finished anyway. "You need to talk about it sometime."  
  
"Yeah, sometime. Not now, later."  
  
Bill's eyes stayed on Eddie as they narrowed a bit, "You and I both know that 'later' means never."  
  
"So what if it does?" Eddie spat out, annoyed.  
  
"Are you serious? You really don't care?" Bill's expression was a mix of confusion and frustration. "You're gonna let one little argument ruin your relationship? Without even fighting-"  
  
"It wasn't a little fucking argument, Bill," Eddie's voice was laced with venom. "You don't know what happened. Don't give your opinion on shit you don't know about," Eddie's words were sharp and he immediately felt bad once they left his mouth, but Bill stopped him before he could apologize.  
  
"Then fucking t-tell me!" He yelled. "If I shouldn't talk about it because I don't know anything, fucking tell me what I should know! Because all I know right now is that two of my friends are fucking sad, idiots. Idiots in love."  
  
Eddie took a breath, trying to calm himself down so he didn't snap.  
  
"You don't have to do that," Bill spoke, his tone changing completely.  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"Calm down. Hold yourself back. You're upset, you should let it out."  
  
Eddie sighed, "Well, yeah, but if I don't I'm gonna snap at you when you haven't done anything."  
  
Bill nodded. "I know, and that's not okay, but I also know you're not going to mean anything you say."  
  
Eddie could have cried at that moment, he felt so fucking grateful to have a friend like Bill. He gave him a small smile, hoping he got his message across.  
  
Bill smiled back, "Now, will you please tell me what happened?" Bill asked, leaning back into the grass and making sure he didn't cover his stomach or chest. He had read somewhere that this makes people more comfortable when speaking to someone. Something about it showing trust because you're not guarding your vulnerable spots. He didn't know if it was true or not.  
  
It took a few minutes before Eddie finally began to speak, "You know how Richie's super affectionate?"  
  
Bill nodded.  
  
"Well he just got...more affectionate with me? I guess?" Eddie looked confused as he gazed at the stars above him.  
  
"Isn't he always like that?"  
  
Eddie shook his head. "No, well, he's more affectionate with me, yeah. But this time it just got, God I don't know-"  
  
"Suffocating?" Bill offered.  
  
Eddie nodded, "Yeah, that. It wasn't that bad at first, he would just hold my hand and stuff a lot more, which I didn't mind. But then," Eddie's eyebrows furrowed. "he just started doing _everything_ for me. I tried to ignore it, I thought he was just scared, which he was but- I don't know, man."  
  
Bill didn't make a sound, patiently waiting for Eddie to find the right words.  
  
"It just got to the point where I couldn't handle it anymore," Eddie continued, eyes glassy due to unshed tears. "You know what the last straw was?" Eddie laughed bitterly.  
  
Bill shook his head, but Eddie wasn't looking at him. It was almost like he was just speaking to himself.  
  
"Fragile," Eddie said softly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Fragile," He repeated. "That's what Richie called me. Just like- just like my-"  
  
"Your mom," Bill finished, jaw slightly hanging open.  
  
Eddie closed his eyes and Bill pretended that he didn't see the teardrop that fell down his cheek.  
  
Eddie took a deep breath before speaking. "Yeah, just like my mom. I don't know, I guess it just sucks because he was the one to help me, y'know? He was there whenever she got to me, throwing stupid pebbles at my window even though he has a phone," Eddie laughed quietly, looking at the ground. "he was just always there. I guess that's why it's so hard to come to terms with the fact that he's not anymore."  
  
"He is, though."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Richie," Bill elaborated. "he's still there for you. He's not gone. You and I both know he's not going anywhere anytime soon, not without you."  
  
"Yeah, but-"  
  
"But you had a fight? So w-what? Yeah, what he said and did isn't acceptable, and I am in no way supporting his behavior, but-" Now it was Bill who looked at the stars, carefully picking his words. "But I don't think you two should give up. I'm not saying you have to get back together, if you truly think you're no longer good for each other, that's okay. But I really, _really_ think you guys should at least talk."  
  
Eddie swallowed audibly, "I know, I'm just," he brought his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. "I'm scared. Really scared."  
  
"He is too," Bill spoke softly. "but that doesn't mean you should let this go without fighting for it. You have to face your fears."  
  
"But it's...scary."  
  
Bill laughed, "Well no shit, that's why you're scared of it in the f-first place."  
  
Eddie reached over to shove Bill's shoulder, but he was laughing too.  
  
There was a long moment of silence before Eddie spoke again.  
  
"I'll talk to him," he muttered quietly.  
  
"When?"  
  
"I don't know. Soon? I think," Eddie took a deep breath. "I think I know what I wanna say. I think I'm ready to do it now."  
  
Bill checked his phone, "W-well it's almost 2am, so I wouldn't do it _right_ now."  
  
Eddie quickly stood up, "2am?! My mom's gonna fucking kill me!"  
  
Bill stood up as well, "No, she isn't. She doesn't even know you left."  
  
"What if she came in to check on me and I wasn't there?!"  
  
"What if she didn't?"  
  
"What if she _did_?"  
  
Bill laughed, rolling his eyes. "Alright, calm down. She wouldn't have came to check on us, she hardly ever does when I'm over," He glanced at his watch. "...But we should probably start heading back now."  
  
The trip back home was quiet, the silence was only broken by Bill when they were standing in Eddie's room.  
  
"So, do you wanna do anything else?"  
  
Eddie shook his head. "Not really. Can we just sleep?"  
  
Bill just nodded, walking over to turn the light off before lying in bed. Eddie, after brushing his teeth, joined him.  
  
They laid back to back, and Bill was just about to fall asleep when he heard Eddie whisper into the darkness.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Bill smiled, replying with a quiet, "No problem," before he fell asleep. Eddie followed soon after.  
  
By the time Eddie had woken up, Bill was gone. He had left a note on Eddie's desk. It only contained the words _good luck_. Eddie smiled before bracing himself and typing out a text to Richie.  
  
_Hey, can we meet up to talk today?_  
  
It was short, and simple, but Eddie had approximately 10 heart attacks before he was able to hit send.  
  
Now all he could do was wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so,,,,,,,,,this is gonna be three chapters now instead of two bc this chapter lowkey got long?? but this'll also be posted on my tumblr (eddietozie-r) but in two parts bc tumblr's character limit is fucking stupid and makes me wanna d i e


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A text from Eddie was the last thing Richie expected to wake up to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry i was so slow in updating this, but it's finally done?? i'm surprised i didn't just abandon it completely tbh

A text from Eddie was the last thing Richie expected to wake up to. 

 

Beverly had already left by the time he woke up. He could briefly remember her shaking him awake and telling him she hoped everything turned out okay. 

 

In a way, he was sort of glad Beverly wasn’t there when he read the message. Yes, he would have liked to have Beverly, anyone really, there with him to help him know what to say. But, at the same time, he wanted to work this out on his own. Him and Eddie had to learn how to communicate. The same thing would happen again if they let other people plan what to say.

 

Taking a deep breathe, Richie unlocked his phone and opened the message. He sent his reply with shaking fingers.

 

_ Of course, what time? _

 

It felt weird to use proper punctuation, Richie virtually never used it. His messages were often run on sentences and, frankly, he couldn't care less about his grammar.

 

Eddie texted back fairly quickly.

 

_ Around 2? Does that work for you? _

 

Richie glanced at the time, 10am. He had four hours to prepare himself to blurt out everything that had been stewing inside of him for weeks. It didn't seem like enough time, but Richie figured there would never be enough time to prepare for this.

 

_ Yeah, that works. Where do you want to meet? _

 

_ The Barrens? _

 

_ Okay. _

 

Richie took a deep breath before sitting up. He began to organize what he wanted to say as he gathered his things for a shower.

 

Halfway through, he wished Eddie would have asked to meet right away. Being alone with all the things he wanted to say was fucking torture. 

 

After his shower, he tried laying down to calm himself, but it wasn't working. Neither were comic books. Or music. 

 

Thirty minutes spent pacing around his room later, Richie finally huffed and unlatched his window, hastily climbing out of it.

 

As soon as his feet hit the ground, they took him in the direction of the arcade. Maybe that would be enough to distract him.

 

-

 

Eddie was no better. He didn't know how many times he had used his inhaler, even though the tightness in his chest wasn't because of his pseudo asthma. 

 

After about twenty minutes, he grabbed a jacket, the same jean jacket Richie had given him, and left the house. He gave a vague answer to his mother when she asked where he was going. He cut off whatever protests she may have given with the sound of the front door slamming shut.

 

He didn't know where he was walking, he couldn't focus on anything but the nagging thoughts spinning around his mind. He felt like he was going to throw up, but his feet kept moving. He focused on the stinging in his hands and nose from the cold, and finally calmed down a bit.

 

He ran straight into another male’s chest. His apology died on his tongue as he looked at the male’s face.

 

Messy, half dry curls. Thick glasses covering wide eyes. Freckles splattered across his cheeks. A faded sweatshirt. Ripped jeans. Black boots. Chapped, pink lips parted in shock.

 

Richie.

 

_ Fuck. _

 

_ - _

 

The arcade hadn't worked. He ended up getting overwhelmed by all the bright lights, the sound of people talking, and the loud beeping of various games. Normally they didn't bother them, but he was already overwhelmed and the buzzing noise and crowds just made everything worse.

 

He made it about ten minutes before he decided if he stayed any longer, he would most definitely have a panic attack.

 

He ended up rushing out of the arcade, looking at the ground and trying to focus on the sound of his own footsteps. He was so concentrated on calming down that he hardly registered someone bumping into him.

 

He mumbled an apology, not looking up, but the stranger didn't budge. After a moment he finally lifted his gaze; his stomach dropped. 

 

Wavy hair, neater than his. Big, brown doe eyes. A pastel pink shirt. Black jeans. Pink converse. Shiny, soft lips caught between teeth.

 

Eddie.

 

_ Fuck. _

 

Surprisingly, neither of them bolted. After recovering from his shock, Eddie began to shift from foot to foot. Richie fiddled with his sleeves, keeping his gaze on the ground.

 

As Richie opened his mouth to speak, Eddie beat him too it.

 

“Guess we’re both a little early, huh?” The laugh that followed sounded forced and nervous.

 

Richie didn't laugh. Didn't even smile. Instead, he lifted his gaze to look at Eddie. “Yeah, sorry. I- I didn't think I would bump into you here.”

 

“Me neither.”

 

Silence.

 

“So, do you still wanna meet up later?” Eddie asked cautiously. He moved his gaze over Richie shoulder. Making eye contact made the knot in his stomach even tighter.

 

“No,” Richie answered quickly. “I don't- I didn't plan what I was gonna say. I mean, I know  _ what _ I want to say, but it's just kind of a jumbled mess,” He said in all one breath. “But, I still wanna talk. If you're ready, that is.”

 

Eddie thought for a moment. He knew if he asked to meet later, there was a large chance he would chicken out at the last minute. He nodded. “I don't know if I’m ready, or if I ever will be, but let's,” He took a deep breath. “Let’s do this now.”

 

Richie nodded. “Did you ride your bike here?”

 

“No, I walked.”

 

“Me, too.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Richie paused. “Ready?”

 

Eddie didn't respond, just nodded. They both turned and began to walk towards The Barrens. 

 

The walk was silent, awkward, and tense. Eddie fucking hated it. 

 

So, he was the first to speak. “It’s really not that complicated.”

 

Richie looked up. “What?”

 

“Us talking about this,” Eddie began to pick at a patch on his jacket. “I feel like this is just something we should be able to do.”

 

“It is.”

 

“So why is this so hard?” Eddie looked up, but Richie didn’t make eye contact.

 

“I don’t know. I’m guess because I’m scared of screwing this up?” He slouched his shoulders, trying to be as small as possible.

 

Eddie laughed, but it had no humor behind it. “Hate to break it to you, but we’re already screwed up.”

 

Richie didn’t laugh. “That’s why I’m scared. What if we don’t change?” 

 

“Then we break up,” Eddie said quietly, focusing on the leaves as they rustled in the wind. “For real this time.”

 

There was silence. Eddie found himself fidgeting just as much as Richie was. 

 

When they finally arrived at The Barrens, Richie didn’t know if he was relieved or disappointed. On one hand, the awkward silence would finally end. On the other hand, he would have to convey his feelings  _ without _ just randomly blurting his thoughts out; he wasn’t good at that.

 

They both sat on a boulder, with more distance between them than usual, and waited for the other to speak.

 

“I’m sorry,” Richie broke the silence. “I know that doesn’t really, mean much, I guess. But, I am. I was way out of line and I shouldn’t have acted how I did. My only excuse is that I was scared,” He looked down at his hands. “I still am, honestly. But, I still shouldn’t have acted how I did and- I’m just sorry, Eddie.”

 

Eddie was quiet, he took a breath to steady himself. “I’m sorry, too. I should’ve just talked to you when you started making me uncomfortable. But I just, thought it would work itself out, I guess,” He finished with a shrug, briefly glancing at Richie.

 

“Why didn’t you?” Richie asked, making eye contact with Eddie. “Talk to me, I mean.”

 

“Because I was fucking scared,” Eddie snapped. Richie couldn’t stop himself from flinching. Eddie’s gaze softened. “Sorry.”

 

Richie shook his head. “It’s fine, can we just- can we not yell? We won’t get anywhere if we do.”

 

“Yeah,” Eddie agreed. He opened his mouth to continue, but closed it; letting silence fill the air. 

 

Biting his lip, Richie spoke up. “So, you’re obviously still upset, which I understand, but you need to tell me what exactly I did to upset you,” He ran a hand through his curls. “I know I shouldn’t have called you,” He swallowed. “fragile, but I need you to tell me when my behavior  _ before _ that started to upset you.”

 

Eddie paused. “I- this isn’t gonna make much sense, probably, but I’m just gonna say whatever comes to mind, okay?” Richie nodded. “Okay. Um, I don’t really mind you being  _ protective _ , I guess. It actually does make me feel safe, and loved. But, it started to feel  _ possessive _ . Like- ugh,” He scowled down at the grass.

 

“It’s okay, take your time to figure how to word what you need to say,” Richie quietly interrupted.

 

Eddie nodded and thought for a few moments before speaking again. “I just remember feeling a shift, I guess. Like, suddenly, it didn’t feel like you were just being affectionate because that’s how you are. It felt like you were being so affectionate because if you weren’t, something would happen to me. Like I couldn’t take care of myself, y’know? And I just fucking  _ hated _ that. Because it reminded me of  _ her _ ,” He laughed bitterly. “and you helped me get away from her. It felt like I was trapped with her all over again, and that’s why it upset me so much. 

 

“So, yeah. I started feeling off when you would do  _ everything _ for me. And when you were always touching me in some way. Basically when you started treating me like a baby,” He finished with a sigh, not looking up from the grass.

 

“Yeah, I- I kinda expected that, to be honest,” Richie shook his head, hiding his face with his hair. “I just wish you would’ve said something. I mean, I regret acting how I did, obviously. And there’s no way to justify my behavior, but I wish we could’ve just  _ talked _ , man.”

 

“Wait, that’s what bothered you about this? That we could’ve avoided it by just talking?”

 

“Sorta, yeah.”

 

“Sorta?” 

 

Richie only nodded.

 

“Rich, come on. You need to tell me what else I did, or said. We’ve gotta talk about this.  _ Actually _ talk about this, not just briefly touch on it.”

 

Richie put his head in his hands. “You’re right, sorry,” He continued before Eddie could say anything else. “I’m mad at myself, mostly. For ever thinking you couldn’t take care of yourself. You’re strong, I know you are. You can take care of yourself and you don’t need anyone to protect you, I fucking  _ know _ that but I still fucked up. I know I was scared, but still...I’m disappointed in myself.

 

“But, I’m also mad at you. No, not mad. Hurt? I guess?” Richie looked up to see if Eddie understood, but when he only saw confusion written across Eddie’s features, he continued. “I was hurt that you thought I considered you weak. I know my actions made it seem like I thought that, but- fuck. This is hard.

 

“I thought everything I’ve said in the past would mean  _ something _ . So it just hurts to know it didn’t,” He shook his head. “I don’t know. It’s dumb.”

 

Eddie put a hand on Richie’s shoulder. “It’s not dumb. Everything you’ve said  _ does _ mean something, you know that. I just- I found it really hard to believe it because of how you were acting. Does that make sense?” Richie nodded. “I know you don’t think I’m weak, or defenseless, or  _ fragile _ , I just started to doubt it for a bit.”

 

“Will you tell me when you start to doubt that again, please?” 

 

“Yes, of course. But, you have to tell me when you start getting scared. Or, just if you feel upset. You’ve gotta talk to me, Rich. We’ve gotta talk to each other.”

 

Richie nodded. “I know, I’ll try.”

 

“Yeah, I will too. We’ll be okay,” Eddie swallowed the lump in his throat and looked at Richie. He could tell that Richie was trying not to cry, he was hiding his face with his hair again; something he always did when he was upset. Eddie smiled before opening his arms and speaking softly, “Come here.”

 

Unsurprisingly, Richie didn’t hesitate. He threw himself towards Eddie with so much force they both almost fell off the rock. “Woah, easy there, tiger,” He said while laughing, but he was also crying at this point.

 

“‘m sorry,” Richie muttered into Eddie’s shirt. He had his arms wrapped securely around Eddie’s waist, and Eddie could feel that he was shaking. But, it didn’t feel like before. Eddie didn’t feel like he was being constricted. He just felt like he was being held by his boyfriend.

 

“It’s okay, I’m sorry too,” Eddie tried to keep his voice steady, but it cracked in the middle of his sentence. Richie pulled back and wiped at Eddie’s face.

 

“Wait, no. Don’t cry, it’s okay,” Richie said through his own tears.

 

Eddie couldn’t stop himself from laughing. “You’re crying too, though.”

 

Richie wiped his eyes. “That doesn’t mean you should cry.”

 

“Are we arguing about when we should and shouldn’t cry?”

 

“Yes, we are. And, I don’t know what side I’m arguing, but I’m right,” Richie choked out a quiet laugh.

 

“Dude, I can hardly understand you. Just come here,” Eddie opened his arms and Richie had himself arms wrapped around Eddie within seconds. A hand found its way to Richie’s hair, and Richie idly rubbed Eddie’s back.

 

The two sat there for what felt like hours. By the time they both calmed down, the sun was setting.

 

Richie stood up first, offering a hand to Eddie. He accepted it, but instead of letting go, he intertwined their fingers. He caught a glimpse of Richie’s smile before he turned his head away.

 

“Do you wanna stay at mine tonight?” Eddie asked, already walking towards his house.

 

“Yeah, I’m sure Mrs. K’s missed me,” He grinned as he replied, squeezing Eddie’s hand.

 

“Beep beep, Richie,” Eddie rolled his eyes but squeezed Richie’s hand as well.

 

They weren’t perfect, they never would be, but they were trying. They were trying and they would never stop. Love was hard, but as Richie listened to Eddie complain about tear stains on his shirt, he decided it was worth fighting for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, this will also be on my tumblr, voregiedenbrough (i'm sorry i'm so cursed hsdflfjalfjdl). thank you for reading and sticking w this story even tho it took decades for me to finish it!!

**Author's Note:**

> wow this was actually really hard to write?? i've never written full angst before so this was,,,,rough and not my best. but i promise chapter 2 will be soft to make up for this  
> and this was also posted on my tumblr (eddietozie-r) so y'all should go send me prompts and stuff


End file.
